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Well folks, I never thought I’d be writing a column like this one, because quite frankly I never thought I’d be this old. This week’s subject matter is going to be a bit of a surprise, and I’m already guessing that some of you will be smiling when I tell you what it is, so off we go:

My daughter Alison, my dear, sweet 21 year old Alison, is engaged to be married!

That’s right, my young daughter is engaged to be married. Isn’t that just amazing? Can you imagine someone as youthful as I having a soon-to-be married daughter? I thought not. And, to tell y’all the truth, I’m quite happy about it. The boy Alison’s going to marry, Dave Wallace, is a fine young man. Will and I have both already vetted him out, and he passes every test, heck, it’s almost like he’s a Williams already. He loves to eat Nu-Way hot dogs, appreciates watching the Rocky Balboa movies over and over again, and is just a genuine, all around good guy. I’m lucky to be having him as a future son-in-law, and he will be just that on June 10, 2006. That’s right, Alison and Dave have already set the date for their marriage. And, as happy as I am about that, I’ve gotta admit that there a few things about these pending nuptials that I’m just not understanding, amongst them are:

Why do weddings have to be planned out so far in advance?

I kid y’all not, this wedding is over a year away, and the planning for it has already begun. First off, I’ve been informed that we have to have a director. A director. When I asked specifically what a wedding director is for, I was told, “To direct the wedding, silly.”

Okay, I guess I asked for that. Anyway, maybe I’m missing out on something, but what is there to direct? The preacher stands up in the sanctuary in the middle of the church and waits. The groom walks in through a side door with his best man at his side. The bride is then escorted up the aisle by her father. The preacher asks who gives the woman away? The father says, “Her mother and I do.” Then the father sits down, watches his child get married, and notes that his bank account is dwindling steadily with each passing moment of the ceremony. It all pretty much sounds like something that could be worked out about a half hour or so beforehand between the participants, so why a director? And don’t throw in all that stuff about bridesmaids and flowers, it sounds like we’re trying to barbeque an elephant when all we need is a sack full of Krystals.

Another thing that I don’t understand is why we have to find a place to have the reception and also find someone to cater it? That makes absolutely no sense to me at all. Why not just find a place that’s already set up to make and serve food all at the same time, you know, just kill both birds with one stone? And why do we want to have it at a big place, which will just encourage more people to hang around even longer and consume more food? My idea is much simpler – I’d simply call my good buddy, Spyros Dermatus, the President of Nu-Way Weiners, and ask him if I could rent out one of his restaurants for say, an hour or two. Then, after the marriage ceremony was over everyone who wanted to could stop by for a couple of tasty Nu-Ways. The drive over and the small size of the Nu-Way restaurant would keep the crowd slimmed down, and we could have Dave and Alison stand just past the ketchup and mustard containers in order to thank anyone who stops by. Sounds like a perfect plan for me.

All in all, though, I guess I don’t have it too bad. I have a lovely daughter who’s going to marry a fine young man, and I’m grateful for that. I fully support what they’re doing, so I guess I’ll have to take all this ceremony crapola along with it. Nothing worthwhile ever comes easy, I suppose. And wait, I’ve just been notified that I have to wear a tux for this thing – a tux! I’d rather manually remove a tick from an ape’s heiny than have to wear a tux, and that’s me being really, really low-keyed about it! Folks, I’ve gotta go now, I’m about to do some major cussin’ and question askin’ here, and hopefully I’ll be finished before next week’s column needs to be written…

Along with the beautiful summer weather comes another wonderful wedding season. This is the time of year when literally thousands of weddings take place. While weddings have not changed much over the years, there are always some noticeable trends that come into play. Everyone wants to do something a little bit different, if only to add an element of individuality to their wedding ceremony. Some of this year’s biggest trends have to do with the creative use of color in attire and in flowers.

While traditional white is not likely to be surpassed in popularity, there are some other interesting and tasteful color options that have really taken off. This year, the color purple is the color to beat. From lavender to eggplant, purple is one of those colors that are both timelessly rich and elegant. This year, it is being used in everything from bridesmaids’ dresses to cocktail napkins. Lilac is a wonderful choice of color for a summertime wedding, no matter where you decide to use it.

While flowers come in a veritable rainbow of colors, more and more people are using dyed flower arrangements in their weddings. More often than not, this is done to accentuate the choices of color used in the clothing of those in the wedding party. Some of the most popular wedding flowers for 2006 include gardenias, lilies, orchids, and daisies. Another popular trend we have noted is the use of wild flowers that have a fresh-cut look.

As far as wedding cakes are concerned, we are starting to see a lot of people trying to tie their cake style into the theme of their wedding. For instance, a springtime wedding cake might be topped off with edible flower petals. We are also starting to see many couples straying away from the traditional bride-and-groom cake toppers, and opting instead for monogrammed letters or sugar sculptures. The average cake size continues to be in the four-to-five tier range.

Regarding the actual wedding ceremony, we have witnessed an increasing number of couples exchange vows while facing their guests. More and more, couples are also writing their own vows. We are seeing more children directly involved in the wedding, too. While every couple wants their special day to be unique and memorable, these are just some of the ways in which couples are personalizing their wedding ceremonies in 2006.

Samantha Taylor can hardly wait for her special day! When she is not obsessing over every little detail of her upcoming wedding, she writes for yourwedding101.com – an insightful online guide to weddings and wedding planning, with information about bridal showers, wedding invitations, honeymoons and more.

Now that you have shared your happy news with family and friends the fun really starts. It’s time to actually start planning your wedding; wedding reception ideas, bridal bouquets, wedding favor ideas and dress ideas will be swimming around in that little loved-up head of yours!

Take a deep breath and relax because the BIG question you’re already asking yourself is… “Where do I start?”

Well, the only way to successfully plan your perfect wedding is to start with your wedding reception ideas. Treat yourself to a few bridal magazines [you've always wanted to buy one and now you can with that rock on your finger!]. Start looking around in haberdashery departments and put together a collection of the materials, styles and colors that appeal to you. These will provide the essential ingredients for your wedding reception ideas board or scrapbook or however you choose to present them.

Your ideas can then spiral off in a multitude of different directions as you start to consider wedding themes, wedding favor ideas, color themes and style themes, etc. It is truly essential to set the tone of your wedding first and then everything else falls in to place. For example, if your bridal gown shop knows you are going for a traditional “ivory and gold” theme, she can then advise you on gowns to suit this theme. In addition, you can then advise your wedding favor supplier that any ideas for wedding favors must fit within this theme.

Wedding favors come in all different styles and design. They range from candle favors, chocolate favors, cd wedding favors, beach themed favors and many more. You can even personalize your favors to make them unique to your guests.

In these early days, there is no need to ask for the groom’s comments – wait until you have narrowed down some ideas before you present them to him. He won’t really respond to “do you like this?” and “what about this?” being thrown at him 50 times a day. It is far better to approach your groom once you have narrowed down groomsmen ideas, color ideas, wedding reception ideas, wedding favor ideas, etc to a minimum. You will also get a more honest answer from him. Don’t forget, even though ideas for wedding favors have completely taken over your life for the moment, he might not share your enthusiasm at this early stage of the preparations.

Throughout your ideas stage, you must not forget your wedding guests. Fundamentally, it is your day, however every girl wants their wedding remembered for its class and elegance. The one way that guests will treasure your wedding memories is by the giving of unique wedding favors. Second to your wedding themes and wedding reception ideas, you must consider wedding favor ideas carefully. Once your beautiful day is over and you’re embarking on married life, you want your guests to look back at their favor boxes and bomboniere and reminisce!

However you plan your wonderful day, and whichever of your original wedding reception ideas and ideas for wedding favors you choose, have a special day and a magical married life thereafter!

(c) World of Wedding Favors

This article is brought to you by “World of Wedding Favors” – Offering brides high quality wedding favors and bomboniere at low-cost prices. To view our vast range of elegant & unique wedding favors please visit:
http://www.World-of-Wedding-Favors.com

The rehearsal dinner is a time to bring your entire wedding party, your parents and your future in-laws together for a relaxing evening before the big day. Not only is in opportunity to thank them for all their support throughout the wedding planning process, but it’s also a great way to unwind. That said, it is often better to organize a low-key, casual dinner where guests can sit around in jeans and t-shirts than to plan something formal. If you decide to have a more casual affair, you may decide to order pizza, Subway or to organize a potluck. The objective is to keep things comfortable for the guests, to reduce costs and to make the affair as easy to organize as possible. You will have enough worries, so don’t try to make this a gala event.

Here are a few additional points you should consider when planning the rehearsal dinner:

Costs

Traditionally, the rehearsal dinner is hosted and paid for by the groom’s parents. However, it is quite common for the couple to plan the shindig and cover the bill, so focus on bringing your closest friends and family together rather than throwing a huge party – i.e., be economical.

Time

When scheduling the date and time of the rehearsal dinner, keep in mind that the rehearsal dinner is held immediately after the wedding rehearsal. You should also know that the wedding rehearsal is about a half-hour long and is usually held the night before the wedding day.

Guests

Remember to invite everyone who was at the rehearsal, including the clergyman and significant others (e.g., boyfriends, girlfriends and spouses). Parents of any children in the wedding party should also be invited. Depending on budget constraints, you may also wish to extend an invitation to relatives who came from out-of-town to attend your wedding.

Now that we’ve covered the fundamental of the rehearsal dinner, it’s time for you to start planning. Use the http://www.groomgroove.com Rehearsal Dinner Checklist to make sure that you cover all your dinner planning tasks and stay on schedule. Enjoy, relax and have fun!

Nada Arnot is the owner and creator of http://www.groomgroove.com – the only online engagement and wedding guide for men. And if you are also an expectant father, then you’ll want to check out http://www.thefunkystork.com for male-oriented articles on pregnancy.

It’s a fact. There are a lot of people who feel unhappy in their marriage. But the real question many of them are asking themselves is, how do I know when my marriage is really over? Is it when your spouse says, “I don’t love you anymore?” Is it after an affair takes place? How do you REALLY know? Keep reading to find out how to identify the warning signs that often indicate your spouse has given up on your marriage. First and Foremost: Has your spouse reached The Point of No Return? What is the Point of No Return in a marriage? Is there such a thing? After working with couples for over 11 years, I’ve identified a specific “path” that couples travel on the way to divorce. And at the end of this path is what I call…The Point of No Return. But I’m getting ahead of myself…let me back up for a second. In most cases, your marriage is NOT over when: – Your spouse moves out
- When your spouse says the infamous, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you anymore”
- When your spouse threatens you with divorce And believe it or not, in some cases, your marriage is NOT even over when…your spouse files for divorce. Your marriage is NOT over when your spouse begs, pleads, argues, screams, storms out of the house or turns the whole family against you.

Quite the contrary, The Point of No Return in a marriage IS confirmed when your spouse looks at you as if s/he were dead. There is no life in your spouse’s voice and no life in his/her eyes. Your spouse doesn’t get angry with you. S/he simply tells you when the divorce papers are going to be served. S/he’s already gone to the court house, found an attorney and has a service date set for the divorce proceedings. Your marriage is most likely over when your spouse has made complete lists of assets and debts with your both of your names on them. Your spouse has already decided on the custody plan and cleaned out any bank accounts with their name and yours and closed all the credit cards that you share. Your spouse has reached The Point of No Return when s/he already knows the courts require a 120 day waiting period and s/he has emotionally bolted him/herself in place for the long wait. You’ve gone WAY beyond an “unhappy marriage” when your spouse has talked many times to the children about divorce and they are now either scared, angry, hurt, confused or emotionally shut down. There’s a good chance your marriage is over when your spouse doesn’t care about how your children feel about it. S/he is only acting for his/her own survival at this point and s/he has repeatedly convinced him/herself that “The kids are good, they’ll be fine.” S/he may have even said that to friends and relatives.

This is the REAL Point of No Return. I’ve found that when your spouse has reached the Point of No Return, no one can save your marriage at this point. Not a priest, pastor or marriage counselor. So How Did this Happen? A marriage gets to this point because we live in a society that is convinced that once you are married, there is nothing you need to learn about marriage and nothing you need to practice. All you need is love. If you don’t have love, then it’s all your fault that your marriage failed. Because of this belief, you kept on doing exactly what you always did…your version of love. You treated your spouse the same way your father treated your mother…or vice versa. You kept on doing the same thing and kept on getting the same results. Your spouse could not help you to help him/her. No matter how many times s/he told you how to meet his/her needs, you couldn’t hear…you just couldn’t understand.

How do I know this? I know it because every single divorce is built on the same system. When your emotional needs are not met in a marriage, anywhere from 1-3 of the situations listed below will begin to take place in your marriage. Because you know virtually nothing about how to be married and how to support each other’s needs, you have no way to stop these issues from happening: – Affair
- Sex failure
- Communication break down
- No Loyalty
- In-Law problems
- Grew apart
- Fell out of love
- Blended family issues
- Abusive attitudes
- Depression
- Angry spouse
- No romance
- Ignores me
- Money problems
- Children problems
- Avoids me If your spouse has not yet passed the Point of No Return, you can still save your marriage; there is still hope for the two of you. But you need to do something TODAY to improve your unhappy marriage. Believe me, I get emails daily with stories about marriages that took a turn for the worst in a matter of WEEKS.
These people simply waited too long and before they knew it, their spouse had reached the Point of No Return. So my message to you is DON’T WAIT. Do something for your marriage TODAY…before it’s too late. You can start by getting the FREE marriage advice you can use to fix your marriage at the http://www.marriage-success-secrets.com website. Note: This article is not legal advice. It is not meant to replace marriage counseling.

Want to get back on track with the one you love? Find out if you’re already on the “Secret Path” to Divorce and learn how to stay off it forever. Get your FREE Special Report here: transform an unhappy marriage

Choosing your wedding reception site must be handled with careful thought and deliberation. The reception site is undeniably the most important piece of the wedding planning puzzle. Before meeting with the first facility manager, consider these important factors in determining the venue that is perfect for you.

Theme and Style of Event -

Beyond the basic banquet hall, an overwhelming array of reception site options exists. From country clubs to mansions to museums, each set the stage for a specific style of event. Before deciding, determine the type of reception you would like to host.

I cannot overemphasizetoday’s wedding receptions are about personality and creativity. Your wedding is not your mother’s or your grandmother’s. It’s not your best friend’s wedding either. This is your once in a lifetime eventand a costly one at that. Take advantage of your time in the spotlight to put together an event that really shines. Consider your personal style. Do you want your wedding to be a reflection or a departure from that? Just because you tend to be more city-chic does not mean you can’t throw a country-style foot stomping hoe down of a wedding (it can be done in an equally fabulous mannerI promise!)

Put some thought into this, and envision your perfect wedding reception. The theme and style you wish to reflect will help dictate the type of reception site you choose. Remember that options abound beyond hotel ballrooms, banquet halls and country clubs. Also consider mansions and historic sites, museums or parks. The sky is the limit!

Geographic Location -

Where do you want to get married? In your hometown? In your fiance’s home town? In the town where you currently live? Or even on a Caribbean island? With today’s jet set couples, the possibilities really are endless. Don’t be afraid to consider something different or unexpected. Perhaps the style or theme of your event will dictate the locationa tiki-style hut by the beach, a rustic farmhouse in the country, a posh ballroom overlooking a metropolitan cityscape. You get the idea…

Size -

OKso you have decided to get married in an historic mansion near your hometown. Greatyou’re almost there! But before you get in your car and start touring reception sites, there is one major factor to consider. Capacityone of the most important criteria in finding the perfect wedding venue. No matter how beautiful a place may be, if you anticipate a guest list of 300, cramming them into a facility that seats 150 will quickly turn an elegant affair into a mob of angry guestswe promise. Most reception sites make setting capacity information readily available. If not, give a quick call to the general phone number and find out. Make sure to differentiate the capacities for the type of reception you envision (seated dinner, buffet, cocktail reception etc.) There may also be different capacity based on the setting with or without a dance floor.

Do your Research -

Find as many reception sites that meet these initial criteria as you can. Use Elegala’s online wedding reception site search to find venues in your area, and narrow down your list. Then schedule appointments to tour each wedding venue and meet with the manager. After thatit’s decision making time!

For a complete guide to creating an elegant and memorable wedding celebration, visit http://www.elegala.com, your ultimate wedding planning resource.

Cori Locklin is editor-in-chief for http://www.elegala.com and Elegala Magazine. Elegala is a new wedding planning resource offering the most comprehensive portfolio of superior wedding reception sites and wedding vendors, with the planning tips to keep brides in the know on today’s planning trends and styles.

We travel farther and more often than ever, so it makes sense that more-and-more people chose to get married in romantic far away places. Weddings at dream locations are called destination weddings, a trend that is becoming popular. Dream destinations can be very different locations. If you love the ocean, but you live in a land locked part of the country, a destination wedding may be the most fitting option for you. The destination often serves as the location for the honeymoon and a possible vacation for your guests.

Destination weddings are not necessarily located on white sandy beaches, but you may decide to have your wedding at a national park, the country, or a historical site. You may choose to get married in the birthplace of your ancestors. Destination weddings provide you and your guests a chance to visit another country or another continent. Destination weddings are very exciting, but there is work involved and you need to plan in advance.

If you are planning a domestic destination-wedding, make sure you contact the marriage license department of the destination county. It is a good idea to call a local wedding planner for a consultation. The assistance of a local wedding planner at your destination can simplify the planning process. When planning a destination wedding one of your most important tasks is to make sure that you understand the legal documents and requirements to get married in your destination county.

If you are marrying outside of the country, contact the destination country’s embassy or consulate for legal requirements. If you are not comfortable dealing with embassies, contact local hotel wedding coordinators for help. Wedding professionals at your destination hotel should be able to provide you with valuable information. Many prevalent destination-wedding locations offer on site wedding coordinators equipped with a lot of great information.

If you are going to invite guests, keep their needs and interests in mind, too. A destination wedding could mean savings since your wedding ceremony and your honeymoon can be at the same destination.

So many things about weddings have become traditions. We follow them because… well, that’s how weddings that we’ve seen growing up have been done. Question is: do these traditions really contribute to the ultimate wedding or are they nothing more than superstitions? Are they nothing more than outdated habits?

Here is one wedding tradition that still has merit…

On the day of the wedding, the bride is asked to wear or carry something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue. This tradition is a simple process and a sweet way for the women of the bride’s family, particularly the bride’s mom, to acknowledge the changing status of the bride and to show their love and support. This is actually good for helping to calm those wedding jitters.

Usually the “something old” takes the form of some personal items given from mother to daughter, sometimes as accessories that the bride is to wear on the day such as a necklace or earrings.

The “something new” stands for the new family that is about to be formed, and bracelets are a common choice for this.

The “something borrowed” is supposed to come from a happily married women. By lending the bride something to use on her wedding day, they also lend some of their married bliss to carry into their new family.

Last, but not least, is the “something blue”. The color is associated with purity and modesty. While the color is pretty, it doesn’t quite go with all the white. Perfect solution: it is common nowadays to have a blue and white garter.

Now isn’t that a wedding tradition worth keeping when you tie the knot?

Wedding invitations are the focal point of your wedding stationery, providing the first glimpse into the style and formality of the wedding. While save-the-dates can be flirty and fun, your invitations will be a true reflection of your event. Plan your wedding invitations with care with my complete wedding invitation planning guide.

The Anatomy of a Wedding Invitation

Wedding Invitations can include a number of enclosures, depending on the nature of your wedding and your stationery budget. (obviously more enclosures means higher costs)

• Outer envelope: Holds all enclosures, formally addressed to the recipient.

• Inner envelope: Holds all contents of the formal, third-person invitation for protection during shipping.

• Reception card: Specifies where and when the reception will be held – usually included only if the ceremony and reception take place at different locations.

• Response card: On which your guests indicate acceptance or regrets. In self-addressed stamped envelope. Make sure to include an RSVP deadline.

• Map/Directional: Optional insertion to help guests navigate and arrange for accommodations

Cost & Budget Considerations

Before you go shopping, become familiar with the invitation printing process and lingo; this will help you determine your needs in advance and avoid unnecessary costs. Price is determined per invitation, so if your guest list is huge – be prepared to designate a significant portion of your budget to wedding invitations. Costs can range anywhere from $1-$50 each. Bulky papers, colored inks and unique graphics all increase the cost. Custom designs can also be pricey. Printing options also affect the cost.

Invitation Printing Options:

• Engraving – most formal and most expensive – results in raised print that is pressed through the back

• Thermography – less expensive than engraving – results in raised print that does not press through the back

• Lithography – less expensive than either engraving or theromography – results in print that is neither raised nor pressed through

• Laser printing – the least expensive option. – produced on a laser printer and results in print similar to that of lithography.

When factoring total costs, don’t forget to consider postage as part of your budget, including stamps for the response card envelopes. Looking for ways to save? Keep your design simple, sticking to one color. Use lighter weight papers and include less inserts. Use response postcards instead of cards with envelopes.

Trends

As with all other aspects of your wedding, your invitations give you an opportunity to reflect a particular color, theme, and/or season of your wedding. During the spring, include pressed flowers or a flower blossom motif featuring the colors of your wedding. Hot right now is Asian-inspired floral motifs or anything 3D that adds texture. For the fall, incorporate warm, colorful leaves. For a summer wedding, feature seashells and starfish with brilliant ocean-blues or sunset-orange/reds. And for the winter, incorporate snowflakes on a simple white invitation.

Other popular suggestions range from unique color combinations and patterns, to ribbons or other clever themed items such as bindings. Many couples are going back to the traditional, formal look and featuring both sets of initials as monograms on the cover, but what’s even hotter is a creative logo or historic family seal. Whatever you decide, make your invitations innovative and unique to your personal style and wedding!

Tips, Rules & Etiquette

• When to send them – send wedding invitations 6-8 weeks before the big day. (if you think your guests will need more advanced notice, send save-the-date cards as well) Try to order invitations 3-4 months in advance to ensure they go out on time.

• How many to order – Order about 25% more than the number of guests you’re inviting – you’re bound to make mistakes or make last minute additions.

• Consider hiring a calligrapher for an added touch of elegance. (this is the first impression of your wedding!) Make sure to factor in the additional timing to ensure your invitations go out on time. Many rules apply to wording and addressing invitations. Here are some of the basics to ensure yours are “faux pas-free”:

Invitation Wording Etiquette

• Dates and times should be spelled out (half after four o’clock in the evening, not 4:30pm, and the twenty-second of April, not April 22)

• Mr. and Mrs. are abbreviated and Jr. may be, but the title Doctor should be spelled out

• No punctuation is used, except after abbreviations and between the city and state.

• An invitation to just the wedding ceremony does not include an R.S.V.P

• “Hosting” the wedding can mean anything from a set of parents helping to plan the event, inviting the guests, or covering the costs:

If there is one set of hosts, list their names at the beginning.

If both sets are hosting, list on separate lines with bride’s parents first.

If one set is hosting but you want to include the other set as well, note their names under their son/daughter’s name.

If you are hosting your own wedding, begin with the request line and state parent’s relationship under your name.

If you and both sets of parents are hosting, list your names first followed by “together with their parents” before the
request line.

Addressing Etiquette

• No abbreviations, except for Mr., Mrs., Ms., and Jr. States must also be spelled out.

• If one of your single guests is bringing a date that you know personally, send that person a separate invitation instead of including “& Guest” on the inner envelope.

• If you are unable to obtain the name of a single friend’s guest – indicate on the inner envelope that they may bring a guest – NOT on the outer envelope. (this looks awkward)

• Unmarried couples who live together should receive one invitation, where their names are listed in alphabetical order and on their own lines.

• Invited guests who are living together as roommates, not couples, should each receive their own invitation.

• List the names of children under the age of 18 who still live at home on the inner envelope instead of “& Family” which can be very ambiguous and easily misinterpreted. Children over the age of 18 should receive their own invitation, regardless of their living situation.

• The traditional, married couple recipient should follow this format:

Mr. & Mrs. Ryan Parker

2211 First Street, Apartment 3

San Diego, California 92109

Wedding Invitation Wording Samples

Gone are the days when wedding etiquette mandated that the bride’s parents, and the bride’s parent’s only, hosted the wedding. Today anyone can foot the bill, and with modern familial arrangements often anything but nuclear, there is no straightforward rule for wording invitations. We’ve sorted through the confusion to bring you wording samples for the most common arrangements:

Simple, Traditional Format

[proper names of those hosting] (official hosts line)
request the honour of your presence (request line)
at the marriage of their [relationship of the bride to the host]
[bride's first and middle names]
to
[groom's full name],
the [day of the week] of [day and month of wedding]
at [hour] o’clock in the [time of day] at
[name of wedding venue] in
[city, state]
Reception to follow

Divorced Parents

[proper name of host]
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of [his/her] [relationship of the bride to the host]

Or, if parent is remarried and hosting with new spouse:

[proper names of those hosting]
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of [his/her] [relationship of the bride to the host]

Or, if divorced parents are mutually hosting:

[proper name of mother]
and
[proper name of father]
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their [relationship of the bride to the host]

When the bride’s one living parent is hosting
The invitation is issued only in the name of the living parent:

Mr. [Mrs.] Jonathan Stephen Smith and Timothy Wright
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of his [her] daughter
Elizabeth Ann

When the Bride and Groom host

The honour of your presence
is requested
it the marriage of
Miss Ashley Johnson
to
Mr. Paul Wilkins

OR

Miss Ashley Johnson
and
Mr. Paul Wilkins
request the honour of your presence
at their marriage

Alternative “Request Line” Options

• “pleasure of your company”

• “honor of your presence” (used instead of the formal “honour” when ceremony does not take place in a house of worship)

• “share and celebrate in their joy” another creative idea that reflects the theme and tone of your wedding

For a complete guide to creating an elegant and memorable wedding celebration, visit http://www.elegala.com/, your ultimate wedding planning resource.

Cori Locklin is editor-in-chief for http://www.elegala.com/ and Elegala Magazine. Elegala is a new wedding planning resource offering the most comprehensive portfolio of superior wedding reception sites and wedding services, along with planning tips, photo galleries and checklists to keep brides in-the-know on today’s wedding trends and styles.

How good is the quality of your marriage right now? Your answer will depend in large part on the quality of the habits you and your spouse practice.

We are all creatures of habit. Habits are those patterns of behavior that you’ve learned to the point where they are automatic and unconscious. The tone of your marriage is largely set by habitual ways you and your spouse think and behave with each other.

Have you ever stopped to really look at the habits you use in relating to your spouse? Probably not, unless someone has asked you this question before. Most of us behave on automatic pilot, without taking time to consider if we should do things differently.

Think about it. What is your automatic reaction when you disagree with something your spouse says? How does he (or she) normally respond when he gets angry with you? Do you use sarcasm or put downs? Or do you typically listen with respect, even when you disagree? Do you criticize your spouse often? Or do you focus on what he’s doing right and compliment him for it?

Whatever exactly happens in your marriage, you’ll notice that certain patterns are repeated over and over again. The habits that you and your spouse have adopted play a major role your relationship and can determine its ultimate success or failure. The good habits can affirm and sustain your marriage; bad habits can destroy it.

The good news is that even if your marriage is going downhill, or it’s not where you’d like it to be, chances are it could be improved by reevaluating the habits you and your spouse have adopted in relating to each other.

You’ve heard the saying “What goes around comes around?” In Eastern philosophy, it’s known as the Law of Karma. It basically says that you get what you sow.

This is true in a marriage as well. Regarding habits, this means that if you can identify and work on changing your own habits that cause disharmony and conflict in your marriage into ones that engender love and respect, your spouse will be more likely to respond in kind.

You can start doing three things to strengthen marriage-enriching habits:

1. Make goodwill deposits. The idea here is that couples have emotional “bank accounts” with each other.

Whenever you do something nice for your partner you are making a goodwill deposit with that person. But when you do something irritating you are making a goodwill withdrawal.

Deposits can be strokes of affection, a gesture of respect, an acknowledgement for something the other has done, or a sincere compliment to the other person.

2. Chose alternate words. When you’re angry with your spouse, substitute “I” statements for “you” statements.

For example, instead of saying “You make me furious when you come home late,” say “I get furious when I have dinner waiting and don’t know that you’re going to be late.”

“You” statements come across as more accusing and attacking. When you choose “I” statements instead, you are taking full responsibility for your feelings. You do less harm to the relationship by avoiding personal attacks on your spouse.

3. Take responsibility for your part in any conflict. Say the words “I’m sorry for my part in what happened” whenever you have a chance to make up after a fight.

Whatever the situation, in saying these words, you acknowledge that every argument has two sides and that each of you share the responsibility for what happens in the marriage. Humility goes a long way in patching things up.

Even if your partner doesn’t take responsibility for his (or her) part in things, set a healthy example by your actions.

The simple act of being open to changing your own habitual behavior requires courage. But the rewards can be substantial.

You may find the quality of your marriage spirals upward to heights you never imagined. And while forming better relationship habits takes some effort, the results feel so good that they become addictive.

You condition yourself and you condition the relationship itself in a way that becomes habit forming when it feels that good.

The following passage by an anonymous author expresses the enormous power of the habits in your life:

“I am your constant companion. I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden. I will push you onward or drag you down to failure. I am completely at your command. Half the things you do you might just as well turn over to me, and I will be able to do them quickly, correctly.

I am easily managed — you must merely be firm with me. Show me exactly how you want something done, and after a few lessons I will do it automatically. I am the servant of all great people; and alas, of all failures as well. Those who are failures, I have made failures.

I am not a machine, though I work with all the precision of a machine plus the intelligence of a human being. You may run me for a profit or turn me for ruin — it makes no difference to me. Take me, train me, be firm with me, and I will place the world at your feet. Be easy with me and I will destroy you.

Who am I? I am habit.”

Lee Hefner is the co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says “I don’t love you anymore!” This e-book is available at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com. You can also sign up for the free Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine to get weekly ideas and support to help you save your marriage.