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So many things about weddings have become traditions. We follow them because… well, that’s how weddings that we’ve seen growing up have been done. Question is: do these traditions really contribute to the ultimate wedding or are they nothing more than superstitions? Are they nothing more than outdated habits?

Here is one wedding tradition that still has merit…

On the day of the wedding, the bride is asked to wear or carry something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue. This tradition is a simple process and a sweet way for the women of the bride’s family, particularly the bride’s mom, to acknowledge the changing status of the bride and to show their love and support. This is actually good for helping to calm those wedding jitters.

Usually the “something old” takes the form of some personal items given from mother to daughter, sometimes as accessories that the bride is to wear on the day such as a necklace or earrings.

The “something new” stands for the new family that is about to be formed, and bracelets are a common choice for this.

The “something borrowed” is supposed to come from a happily married women. By lending the bride something to use on her wedding day, they also lend some of their married bliss to carry into their new family.

Last, but not least, is the “something blue”. The color is associated with purity and modesty. While the color is pretty, it doesn’t quite go with all the white. Perfect solution: it is common nowadays to have a blue and white garter.

Now isn’t that a wedding tradition worth keeping when you tie the knot?

Wedding invitations are the focal point of your wedding stationery, providing the first glimpse into the style and formality of the wedding. While save-the-dates can be flirty and fun, your invitations will be a true reflection of your event. Plan your wedding invitations with care with my complete wedding invitation planning guide.

The Anatomy of a Wedding Invitation

Wedding Invitations can include a number of enclosures, depending on the nature of your wedding and your stationery budget. (obviously more enclosures means higher costs)

• Outer envelope: Holds all enclosures, formally addressed to the recipient.

• Inner envelope: Holds all contents of the formal, third-person invitation for protection during shipping.

• Reception card: Specifies where and when the reception will be held – usually included only if the ceremony and reception take place at different locations.

• Response card: On which your guests indicate acceptance or regrets. In self-addressed stamped envelope. Make sure to include an RSVP deadline.

• Map/Directional: Optional insertion to help guests navigate and arrange for accommodations

Cost & Budget Considerations

Before you go shopping, become familiar with the invitation printing process and lingo; this will help you determine your needs in advance and avoid unnecessary costs. Price is determined per invitation, so if your guest list is huge – be prepared to designate a significant portion of your budget to wedding invitations. Costs can range anywhere from $1-$50 each. Bulky papers, colored inks and unique graphics all increase the cost. Custom designs can also be pricey. Printing options also affect the cost.

Invitation Printing Options:

• Engraving – most formal and most expensive – results in raised print that is pressed through the back

• Thermography – less expensive than engraving – results in raised print that does not press through the back

• Lithography – less expensive than either engraving or theromography – results in print that is neither raised nor pressed through

• Laser printing – the least expensive option. – produced on a laser printer and results in print similar to that of lithography.

When factoring total costs, don’t forget to consider postage as part of your budget, including stamps for the response card envelopes. Looking for ways to save? Keep your design simple, sticking to one color. Use lighter weight papers and include less inserts. Use response postcards instead of cards with envelopes.

Trends

As with all other aspects of your wedding, your invitations give you an opportunity to reflect a particular color, theme, and/or season of your wedding. During the spring, include pressed flowers or a flower blossom motif featuring the colors of your wedding. Hot right now is Asian-inspired floral motifs or anything 3D that adds texture. For the fall, incorporate warm, colorful leaves. For a summer wedding, feature seashells and starfish with brilliant ocean-blues or sunset-orange/reds. And for the winter, incorporate snowflakes on a simple white invitation.

Other popular suggestions range from unique color combinations and patterns, to ribbons or other clever themed items such as bindings. Many couples are going back to the traditional, formal look and featuring both sets of initials as monograms on the cover, but what’s even hotter is a creative logo or historic family seal. Whatever you decide, make your invitations innovative and unique to your personal style and wedding!

Tips, Rules & Etiquette

• When to send them – send wedding invitations 6-8 weeks before the big day. (if you think your guests will need more advanced notice, send save-the-date cards as well) Try to order invitations 3-4 months in advance to ensure they go out on time.

• How many to order – Order about 25% more than the number of guests you’re inviting – you’re bound to make mistakes or make last minute additions.

• Consider hiring a calligrapher for an added touch of elegance. (this is the first impression of your wedding!) Make sure to factor in the additional timing to ensure your invitations go out on time. Many rules apply to wording and addressing invitations. Here are some of the basics to ensure yours are “faux pas-free”:

Invitation Wording Etiquette

• Dates and times should be spelled out (half after four o’clock in the evening, not 4:30pm, and the twenty-second of April, not April 22)

• Mr. and Mrs. are abbreviated and Jr. may be, but the title Doctor should be spelled out

• No punctuation is used, except after abbreviations and between the city and state.

• An invitation to just the wedding ceremony does not include an R.S.V.P

• “Hosting” the wedding can mean anything from a set of parents helping to plan the event, inviting the guests, or covering the costs:

If there is one set of hosts, list their names at the beginning.

If both sets are hosting, list on separate lines with bride’s parents first.

If one set is hosting but you want to include the other set as well, note their names under their son/daughter’s name.

If you are hosting your own wedding, begin with the request line and state parent’s relationship under your name.

If you and both sets of parents are hosting, list your names first followed by “together with their parents” before the
request line.

Addressing Etiquette

• No abbreviations, except for Mr., Mrs., Ms., and Jr. States must also be spelled out.

• If one of your single guests is bringing a date that you know personally, send that person a separate invitation instead of including “& Guest” on the inner envelope.

• If you are unable to obtain the name of a single friend’s guest – indicate on the inner envelope that they may bring a guest – NOT on the outer envelope. (this looks awkward)

• Unmarried couples who live together should receive one invitation, where their names are listed in alphabetical order and on their own lines.

• Invited guests who are living together as roommates, not couples, should each receive their own invitation.

• List the names of children under the age of 18 who still live at home on the inner envelope instead of “& Family” which can be very ambiguous and easily misinterpreted. Children over the age of 18 should receive their own invitation, regardless of their living situation.

• The traditional, married couple recipient should follow this format:

Mr. & Mrs. Ryan Parker

2211 First Street, Apartment 3

San Diego, California 92109

Wedding Invitation Wording Samples

Gone are the days when wedding etiquette mandated that the bride’s parents, and the bride’s parent’s only, hosted the wedding. Today anyone can foot the bill, and with modern familial arrangements often anything but nuclear, there is no straightforward rule for wording invitations. We’ve sorted through the confusion to bring you wording samples for the most common arrangements:

Simple, Traditional Format

[proper names of those hosting] (official hosts line)
request the honour of your presence (request line)
at the marriage of their [relationship of the bride to the host]
[bride's first and middle names]
to
[groom's full name],
the [day of the week] of [day and month of wedding]
at [hour] o’clock in the [time of day] at
[name of wedding venue] in
[city, state]
Reception to follow

Divorced Parents

[proper name of host]
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of [his/her] [relationship of the bride to the host]

Or, if parent is remarried and hosting with new spouse:

[proper names of those hosting]
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of [his/her] [relationship of the bride to the host]

Or, if divorced parents are mutually hosting:

[proper name of mother]
and
[proper name of father]
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their [relationship of the bride to the host]

When the bride’s one living parent is hosting
The invitation is issued only in the name of the living parent:

Mr. [Mrs.] Jonathan Stephen Smith and Timothy Wright
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of his [her] daughter
Elizabeth Ann

When the Bride and Groom host

The honour of your presence
is requested
it the marriage of
Miss Ashley Johnson
to
Mr. Paul Wilkins

OR

Miss Ashley Johnson
and
Mr. Paul Wilkins
request the honour of your presence
at their marriage

Alternative “Request Line” Options

• “pleasure of your company”

• “honor of your presence” (used instead of the formal “honour” when ceremony does not take place in a house of worship)

• “share and celebrate in their joy” another creative idea that reflects the theme and tone of your wedding

For a complete guide to creating an elegant and memorable wedding celebration, visit http://www.elegala.com/, your ultimate wedding planning resource.

Cori Locklin is editor-in-chief for http://www.elegala.com/ and Elegala Magazine. Elegala is a new wedding planning resource offering the most comprehensive portfolio of superior wedding reception sites and wedding services, along with planning tips, photo galleries and checklists to keep brides in-the-know on today’s wedding trends and styles.

How good is the quality of your marriage right now? Your answer will depend in large part on the quality of the habits you and your spouse practice.

We are all creatures of habit. Habits are those patterns of behavior that you’ve learned to the point where they are automatic and unconscious. The tone of your marriage is largely set by habitual ways you and your spouse think and behave with each other.

Have you ever stopped to really look at the habits you use in relating to your spouse? Probably not, unless someone has asked you this question before. Most of us behave on automatic pilot, without taking time to consider if we should do things differently.

Think about it. What is your automatic reaction when you disagree with something your spouse says? How does he (or she) normally respond when he gets angry with you? Do you use sarcasm or put downs? Or do you typically listen with respect, even when you disagree? Do you criticize your spouse often? Or do you focus on what he’s doing right and compliment him for it?

Whatever exactly happens in your marriage, you’ll notice that certain patterns are repeated over and over again. The habits that you and your spouse have adopted play a major role your relationship and can determine its ultimate success or failure. The good habits can affirm and sustain your marriage; bad habits can destroy it.

The good news is that even if your marriage is going downhill, or it’s not where you’d like it to be, chances are it could be improved by reevaluating the habits you and your spouse have adopted in relating to each other.

You’ve heard the saying “What goes around comes around?” In Eastern philosophy, it’s known as the Law of Karma. It basically says that you get what you sow.

This is true in a marriage as well. Regarding habits, this means that if you can identify and work on changing your own habits that cause disharmony and conflict in your marriage into ones that engender love and respect, your spouse will be more likely to respond in kind.

You can start doing three things to strengthen marriage-enriching habits:

1. Make goodwill deposits. The idea here is that couples have emotional “bank accounts” with each other.

Whenever you do something nice for your partner you are making a goodwill deposit with that person. But when you do something irritating you are making a goodwill withdrawal.

Deposits can be strokes of affection, a gesture of respect, an acknowledgement for something the other has done, or a sincere compliment to the other person.

2. Chose alternate words. When you’re angry with your spouse, substitute “I” statements for “you” statements.

For example, instead of saying “You make me furious when you come home late,” say “I get furious when I have dinner waiting and don’t know that you’re going to be late.”

“You” statements come across as more accusing and attacking. When you choose “I” statements instead, you are taking full responsibility for your feelings. You do less harm to the relationship by avoiding personal attacks on your spouse.

3. Take responsibility for your part in any conflict. Say the words “I’m sorry for my part in what happened” whenever you have a chance to make up after a fight.

Whatever the situation, in saying these words, you acknowledge that every argument has two sides and that each of you share the responsibility for what happens in the marriage. Humility goes a long way in patching things up.

Even if your partner doesn’t take responsibility for his (or her) part in things, set a healthy example by your actions.

The simple act of being open to changing your own habitual behavior requires courage. But the rewards can be substantial.

You may find the quality of your marriage spirals upward to heights you never imagined. And while forming better relationship habits takes some effort, the results feel so good that they become addictive.

You condition yourself and you condition the relationship itself in a way that becomes habit forming when it feels that good.

The following passage by an anonymous author expresses the enormous power of the habits in your life:

“I am your constant companion. I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden. I will push you onward or drag you down to failure. I am completely at your command. Half the things you do you might just as well turn over to me, and I will be able to do them quickly, correctly.

I am easily managed — you must merely be firm with me. Show me exactly how you want something done, and after a few lessons I will do it automatically. I am the servant of all great people; and alas, of all failures as well. Those who are failures, I have made failures.

I am not a machine, though I work with all the precision of a machine plus the intelligence of a human being. You may run me for a profit or turn me for ruin — it makes no difference to me. Take me, train me, be firm with me, and I will place the world at your feet. Be easy with me and I will destroy you.

Who am I? I am habit.”

Lee Hefner is the co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says “I don’t love you anymore!” This e-book is available at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com. You can also sign up for the free Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine to get weekly ideas and support to help you save your marriage.

Getting your Wedding Invitation Wording correct is important. After all the wedding invitation wording is what relays to the guests the time and place they are to join you.

Wedding invitation wording needs to be clear. Wedding guests need to know exactly what portion of your wedding day they are being invited to. Some wedding invitation wording will state that a guest is invited to the whole day, ceremony and reception. Some wedding invitation wording will only state the time of the reception.

There is a certain etiquette that goes along with clear wedding invitation wording with a church wedding have the more formal wedding invitation wording. Something along the lines of

If you do not want to hand write all your wedding guests names into your wedding invitations replacing the handwritten part with the wedding invitation wording of “request the honor of your presence” is totally fine.

If your wedding is to be at home then your wedding invitation wording can be slightly less formal with “request the honor of your presence” replaced with “request the pleasure of your company”.

As with the church wedding invitation wording an area can be left for you to hand write your guests names if you so choose.

If your wedding is to be held at a friend or relations home for whatever reason then the wedding invitation wording is less formal still. A simple

When we think of marriage, most of us like to be romantic about it. Marriage brings images of engagement rings and a big white triple-layer cake. Nobody wants to talk about money management, prenuptials and other financial matters.

However, statistics show that the top reason for divorce is disagreeing about money. Don’t get carried away by the sheer romance of getting married. Discuss your financial concerns before you walk down the aisle.

Prenuptial agreements

These legally-binding contracts will save you quite a heartache in the event of a divorce.
But who is ever considering divorce at the time of marriage? It may seem unromantic, and certainly, most of the time it may be unnecessary. However, if you stand to inherit a very large sum of money, if you have a trust fund, or if you own a business, a prenuptial can help you keep what is rightfully yours.

Set a reasonable wedding budget

With the average American wedding costing over $19,000, it makes sense to look into some affordable alternatives. Keeping it small and holding the ceremony and reception in a park or other scenic public place are just two examples of ways that you can save a ton.

Be ready for tax-season

If both spouses work, by law, they both must be taxed at the same rate as that of the highest income-earning spouse. Married couples will be happy to hear, however that the marriage tax penalty is being phased out over the next few years.

Merge your money

Legally, a married couple has joint-ownership of everything. Regardless, a husband and wife will often open a joint bank account to make household expenses easier to track.

Discussing the financial details of marriage one-step-at-a-time can help ease the both of you into a fruitful and harmonious new life together.

Nathan Dawson writes for http://www.marriedfinances.com and http://www.successfulmarriageresource.com, great online sources for marriage and finance information.